Dear Readers,

Dating these days is cruel; finding romantic partners face-to-face is rare, and usually when people meet up in real life, it’s after quickly swiping left and right on strangers’ profiles. While there are some advantages to online dating, it’s ruining our mental health.

Dating app profiles are manipulated; we only add the best qualities and photos of ourselves to our brief profiles, and the same is true for the profiles we swipe through. Potential partners quickly judge each other based on a five-photo profile.

This prejudice and rejection can seriously affect your self-perception, especially after realizing you did not match with someone you swiped right on.

According to an article on Embark Behavioral Health interviewing Alisa Foreman, a licensed marriage and family therapist, dating apps can lead to depression, anxiety, dating app addiction and difficulty forming in-person relationships.

“The rejection experienced through online dating can be incredibly hurtful and detrimental to a person’s self-esteem and negatively impact their mood,” Foreman said. “Following an online rejection, a person may wonder, ‘What did I do? Was it something I said? What didn’t they like about me?’ And then self-doubt and depression can sink in because, ‘I thought this was going somewhere, and this person doesn’t reciprocate the feelings. There must be something wrong with me.’”

The feelings of rejection also increase the more time we spend on these apps: since dating app rejections are much more frequent than in-person ones, they have a longer lasting impact on people’s mental health, which is harder to escape.

“As humans, we crave connection and relationship with other people,” Foreman said. “Regardless of the platform, the goal is to find the best way to connect and build relationships with others while staying true to ourselves, setting realistic expectations and minimizing the negative effects.”

The next time you’re on a dating app, thoughtfully look through the profile of someone you match with before meeting them, understand your feelings based on the conversations you have with them and respect your body and mind before making any decision regarding love. 

If you feel down after swiping on dating apps, close out of the app. I won’t go back on a dating app for at least a week after those interactions. Pick up a book, turn on your favorite show or go out for ice cream with your friends instead of worrying whether they will message you back.

If you notice more serious symptoms after being on dating apps, contact Lafene Health Center at www.k-state.edu/counseling/ or find a local therapist to talk about your well-being.