As for me and my house, we worship Bridget the Midget.

You’re in Manhattan now. We have to use a little bit of common knowledge when it comes to driving. Thanks.

Yo, I just wanted to tell you that the Funky Bunch is kind of a big deal.

X gon’ give it to ya.

Nothing better than a pair of binoculars when sorority rush starts.

Why are we a big deal? Because we drink a lot, that’s why. We’re a drinking social club network.

We’re probably driving home drunk tonight, because Safe Ride does not answer.

Marlatt Hall just got done singing to the girls in Jardine, and we we’re so hot we set off the fire alarm.

To the idiot with the window chalk in the back of Kedzie: No one cares you’re a K-State freshman, and no, I will not honk.

Another year, another move-in day and Rob’s mom is still hot.

Safe Ride, pick up your phone.

The athletic department sucks.

I’m really, really drunk, and I’m really excited for school.